Integration?

There was a program on Discovery Health tonight about a woman with D.I.D.  What struck us most, overall, were the chilling similarities.  I wish I’d have recorded it because any time I start to doubt this diagnosis (which is, fortunately, very rarely anymore) all I would need to do would be to watch that program again.  The pain of the host was almost palpable.  Her system knew who they each were and exactly what they believe in, stand for or don’t stand for, what their jobs are, etc.  She, however, didn’t know a whole lot.  I could empathize greatly.

But the other thing that struck us was how dead set the therapist was on integration, regardless of the woman’s hesitancy and fear.  It made us all very angry when the therapist basically said the woman was using her alters so she wouldn’t have to deal with tough shit in life.  WTF?!  I wonder what this therapist will do once he sees that integration is rarely successful in general, let alone will not work if all involved are not 100% on board.

We used to cry like she did, when our old therapist would try to force the issue of integration.  We were scared to death.  We didn’t want it.  We knew it would not work for us.  Therapists who try to force that have no business practicing.  We are VERY close to one another (not just in proximity LOL) and we all form a solid thing, but take one of us away and it’s going to be like that game Jenga.  The whole thing will fall apart and scatter all over the table and floor.  Slowly we will build back up, swaying a lot and bracing ourselves to fall apart again.

Our hope for this woman and her system is that they will find a therapist who is not dead-set on integration.  If they all think it’s best, then that’s fine.  It is the best idea for some people.  But for many of us, it’s the worst idea anyone could have.  And we hope she finds the proper treatment soon.

The Full Picture

Image is by drugs-and-groceries @ Deviant Art.

-Mikaela